here for you

March 26, 2021

To say that 2020 has been a roller coaster would be an understatement. I've always been a glass-half-full person. Eternally positive, even when things are at their worst. However, between March and July (my 33rd birthday), I had faced heartbreak, had a massive falling out with one of my best friends, I'd been injured and lost one of my biggest outlets (trail running), and I watched my plans I'd been working incredibly hard for crumble right in front of me. I wouldn't sleep at my house and instead crashed on a friend's couch every night because I was too afraid to be alone for months. It was easily one of the lowest places I've ever been. All of my routines went out the window, I was just wasting away. From March to July felt like an eternity and a minute at the same time. My 33rd birthday came, and some friends organized a camping trip. I spent most of the weekend by myself, actively avoiding everyone, in a depressed and anxious daze. I felt embarrassed, alone, and ashamed. However, that next day, two of my best friends asked me to go to lunch. There, one of them, before she left to go back home, gave me a small package. It was a "Here for you" bracelet. She said to go on the website and read the story. As I slowly tried to read the story, I started crying. I was the story, and she was here for me. They both were. That even at my worst, my most destructive, it didn't matter, they were here. That I had friends that when I didn't pick up the phone, they would call until I did. Show up at my doorstep and break into the house, just to say hi. Drag me out of the house to go ski up a mountain to snowboard down. Drive across the country just to hang out for a few days. Give me a hug, out of nowhere, just because I needed one. I haven't taken that bracelet off since and now wear it with "Anything is Possible." While it's still been a roller coaster since then, having that reminder has helped every day. A reminder that there are always people there that will you pick you up, no matter what, even when you feel all alone. Sometimes they're the people you expect, and sometimes they're not, but regardless, they are "Here for you."