forever my angel
February 2, 2024My husband and I found each other rather late in life. When we initially started dating, the discussion was raised about having children. I had a difficult time with my first baby (5 weeks and 2 surgeries in the NICU) many years before, and I didn't want to risk going through something like that again. Lucky for me, he agreed that he was "too old" for babies and we went on to get married. Two years in to our marriage, my adult daughter has had our first grandchild, and we were smitten. And then in 2013 . . . we find out I was pregnant! It was unexpected, but we realized that we were thrilled! I went on to have a picture-perfect pregnancy. Our baby girl, Abigail, was perfect at every prenatal appointment and ultrasound.
Until . . . we hit 32 weeks. I went into labor unexpectedly and rushed to the hospital. I underwent an emergency C-section when they realized they had lost her heartbeat. Doctors rushed to get her out and attempted to revive her. They restored her heartbeat, but after 20 minutes with no oxygen, she was officially brain dead. But - either they didn't tell us that outright (waiting for the EEG to be conducted) or we were in such a daze from it all, that we didn't comprehend what they were telling us. It was such a whirlwind of activity and emotions that it still seems like a blur after all these years.
Abigail was in the NICU for 10 days. She never cried. You never think you'll miss the crying of a baby until something like this happens. We prayed for brain activity, "intentional" physical movement - we prayed for a miracle to bring our perfect baby girl back to us. Two EEGs later, the doctors had to tell us that there was no hope for her recovery. We had to make the horrific decision to remove her from the life support. A decision no parent should ever have to make for their child - 10 days old or 50 years old. We held our angel, Abi-girl, for 13 hours until she finally passed on. We were devastated to say the least.
Somehow, we survived the loss, and we went on taking care of my adult daughter and our grandchildren who were now living with us. In 2023, we went through IVF treatments and in November, we had our rainbow baby! He decided to greet the world 4 weeks early, but he is perfect! And . . . he is the spitting image of his angel sister who I like to think is watching over him when he peacefully stares off into space every once in a while. While we love Dominic with all our hearts, we still miss Abi every day. She will always be my Angel Baby and carry a piece of my heart with her!
- Melissa