Life Is Precious
I have a story. July 25, 2016. One life gone; one severely mangled and another damaged. Gone is my dog, Rocky. Damaged was my dog, Dixie. Severely mangled was left for me. We were just walking, as we did every evening. An out of control car in the early evening, going the opposite direction, crossed over oncoming traffic and picked us off. I had severe orthopedic injuries to both legs, and extensive blood loss was causing my body to shut down. I was a Crossfit practitioner, told by the trauma surgeon, had I not been so fit, I would not have survived. I did survive. In order to keep moving forward, I have to remind myself just how tenuous our lives are, and that today is a good day. Sometimes, it’s just that I need a reminder. Keep positive and remind me, it could have been worse and... LIFE IS PRECIOUS! I’ll never walk properly, nor can I lift weights above my waist, but I’m alive.
In 2014, our son was born. He was my first child at 43 and my husband's first boy at 48. He was perfect in every way a baby could be. He was born 6 weeks early and was breathing on his own. Aside from being a little over five pounds, he was amazingly healthy for being a preemie; nearly the largest baby in the NICU. He soon became the most important reason, a long with my husband, that I had for living. Not two weeks after he was born and the day after he came.home.from the NICU, an unseen infection that had me in the worst pain I'd ever experienced in my entire life I'd contracted from the emergency c-section was finally visible and it was the worst diagnosis ever. I had infectious gangrene behind my abdominal wall, - necrotizing fasciitis (flesh-eating bacteria). When they found it during a CAT Scan at the hospital, they had me being rushed into emergency surgery within 20 minutes. Leaving me the most frightened I'd ever been and my husband terrified as he watched them race me through the doors into the operating room hallway. I'd been given a 10% chance of making it through the first surgery and my family was told by the surgeon that if they hadn't caught the infection, I'd have been dead in less than 24 hours. I'm the girl who.always likes a challenge. I do what frightens me the most. From moving from North to South then South to North, to skydiving. I've survived a neurological disorder that could have rendered me permanently paralyzed and breast cancer. I survived this too and four and a half years later, our son had his mommy, my husband, his wife, and me. Well, I have my same old 'bring it and watch me face it and not just survive but overcome it.' That which hits us hardest does not dictate who we are or who we can be. Never limit yourself because of fear, especially your own. I am not who I am because of these things; I am who I am because I am Stronger, I am a Fighter, I am a Survivor; I am Healed.
Through the Darkness
I attempted to take my own life just 5 months ago. I’ve had mental health problems for a number of years. During this time, I had a wonderful fiancée who supported me. However, in January of this year, we decided to call time on our relationship. In one fell swoop, I lost my fiancée, my soul mate and my biggest mental health support. I also allowed her to have the dog so I lost a fur baby too! After struggling for a few weeks, I had sunk to the lowest point imaginable. I didn’t want to be alive anymore. I tried to take my own life. I spent 4 days in hospital and was released on the recognition that I would not attempt anything again. When trying to recover, trying to build myself back up, I came across Zox. The first one that caught my eye was Through the Darkness. I still struggle with my demons every day. I have depression. I have anxiety. I have suicidal thoughts. My Zox help keep me grounded. I remember how far 'through the darkness' I’ve come and how far I’ve got to go. My wristband brings me out of my head and gives me strength. It is invaluable to me.
Well to start off, I just want to say, I read what this bracelet means but to me I needed this saying for a different reason. So a couple people in my family are battling drug addictions. And its soooo hard. I am a foster mom to my brothers two little children because of this devil. I bought this bracelet to give to my family members that are going through this. I have 2 sisters and a brother currently battling, and on the road to recovery. I did not understand addiction very well when this all started with them, i was angry that they would put drugs before their children and family, i was hurt,i was so many emotions and none of them were good. But at that time I didn't realize how hard this was on them, the hold this devil had on them. After my one sister went to treatment and was on the road to recovery i started going to NA meetings with her and let me tell you, it opened my eyes so much. I now understand. I now can let go of that anger i had towards them. I now can see their struggle. I got them this bracelet to let them know its ok to have bad days, its ok to have set backs, its ok to just breath. My sister now has her kids back and my other sister and my brother are currently working towards that and I have so much faith that they will overcome this. I just want to say if there is anyone reading this that is battling drugs or alcohol, that there is hope, there is help just reach for it. Have faith that everything will get better , and most importantly just breath. Take one step at a time even if its teeny tiny baby steps, you will get there i have faith and hope for you. Just breath my friend.
All my life I’ve suffered from anxiety and depression. This little voice in the back of my head telling me I’m letting everyone down. That I’m not and never will be good enough, in any aspect. My sisters and my grandma have always reassured me otherwise. Now I have a beautiful daughter that only seems to see the good in me and is my world. A year ago we got a phone call that my brother had had a seizure (which he’d had almost daily for 20 years) but had fallen into a lake and drowned before being rescued. They did what they could, but he’d been without oxygen for too long and was declared braindead. The next day my dad let him go. One of my sisters was there with him. He was her hero. She’d been suffering a lot lately herself and was having a lot of personal battles. We all drove down for the funeral 2 weeks later and she stayed an extra day. The next day we got a call that she’d been in an accident and it was bad. She’d clipped a car while driving upset and her car flipped. She was in a convertible and was thrown out. Nearly every bone was broken. We found out hours after the call that she’d never wake up. They stopped trying to fix her. We held on for 3 days before being told there was no brain activity and 2 more before saying goodbye. A month later, to the day, my grandma went to sleep and didn’t wake up. These were the worst 6 weeks I’ve ever experienced and more than ever I didn’t know how to keep going. Two of my favorite people that had been by my side no matter what were suddenly gone. It wasn’t fair. A few months went by and I saw ZOX online and passed it off as an ad. Then I saw it again. And again. I finally clicked it just to see. I scrolled through the options and found “Move Along”. I read the story and cried. It was so relevant. “Keep moving forward”. It’s always been one of my favorite Disney sayings. Just keep going. Keep trying. That’s all I wanted to do and there it was. The perfect message.