Chevron Rightstories

survivor

January 20, 2022

TW: Abuse

To the world, it looked like I was loved. But as an unplanned child, coming several years after my siblings, it was clear that I was not a priority. Molested repeatedly by a neighbor at a young age, I developed a warped idea of love & life. Despite the threats of harm, I eventually told my mom who got medical care for me. But I was told my dad could never know because he would kill the man, and then dad would go to jail. While other kids were playing sports & learning to be team players, I was alone in my bedroom, hiding. If it involved spending money on me or time with me, I was denied. I was cute but chubby. I was teased by my peers from a young age, and it continued throughout my teens. Junior High & High school were unbearable at times. Often what I perceived as compliments from the older kids were actually hurtful jokes. I had friends—and boyfriends—but no friendships seemed to last. Then, last semester of senior year, fate brought the love of my life to me. He saved me, but he tells me we saved each other. Despite years of adversity, we recently celebrated our 45th wedding anniversary! Those years were far from easy as we experienced many ups & downs—we were on the brink of divorce more than once, but we somehow pushed forward. Never blessed with children, I wanted to adopt but my husband did not, and I chose to stay when I could have left. Our careers became priority. Together, we experienced much joy, but we also endured emotional & mental breakdowns, major illnesses, tragedy. I cared for my aging parents through their extended illnesses. My father passed on our wedding anniversary, making our anniversaries bittersweet. Those careers that were so important—well, they were important to us but not so much to our employers. We found ourselves bullied & forced out of those careers in our 50’s. Now in our 60’s, we both struggle with self-esteem issues. Our physical health is not the best. The good news is this — the one constant has been our love. Somehow, someway our love has SURVIVED. We are SURVIVORS. AND our love endures. ❤️