show up

Every month I used to dread my menstrual cycle due to the pain, the mood swings, and the general discomfort. Usually I could get through it with medication and rest, but when I was 22, that changed for the worse. No medication was working and I was in bent over pain that seemed endless. I was rushed to the emergency room where they found that I have 3 golf ball sized ovarian cysts as well as extensive endometriosis. I had a surgery 3 days before Christmas that year and spent Christmas in the hospital. My mother fainted when I had to go in for surgery; it was hard on all my family. I was then put on medications to stop my period so that my body could recover – forcing me into a temporary menopause and all that came with it, including the manic/depressive mood swings and the hot flashes. I was then put on an antidepressant to deal with the mood swings from not having a period. I felt hollow, like I was just a shell of a person with no substance inside. I sought to fill that hole in my life and found Zox in the process. I’ve collected many straps, all of which have great meaning to me, but one of the recently released really speaks to me and my situation, the strap called Show Up. For the longest time after my surgery, I just didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t want to go anywhere, be with anyone, do any actions, except for be at home in bed. My mom became my champion though, she would always be there for me and show up to give me inspiration, hope, peace of mind and the occasional kick in the butt to get going. She never gave up on me getting better, through all the different medication changes, mood swings, therapy, counseling, doctor visits, she was there for me and her being there and showing up is ultimately one of the reasons that I am doing as well as I am now, healed and on manageable treatment. I love the woman’s silhouette on the Show Up strap, because it reminds me of my mother being there for me to help me and fight off any bad vibes or thoughts. She is my samurai, always willing to fight for me and go to bat for me, despite the hardships and pain. When I wear the strap, I feel like she is with me, like I am going to be ok and can get through the day.