Chevron Rightstories

release my past

April 29, 2021
I was with a man, my ex-husband, for 20 years. He left his place of employment and started up his own business. He had a bad drug problem I didn’t realize was as bad and deep as it was. He was a functioning addict. We argued about it, I could see in his face and eyes he was on something, but I was always told I was crazy, you read things to much, stop trying to fight with me the list goes on. Well when he started up his own business, he miss spent over $60,000 in deposits of local families money. It was scary as hell when I realized what was going on. He was passing out in parking lots, back yards of homes, working landscaping/ building till 2 or 3 am (yeah right 😒). It was a scary awful time. I remember the shock I went through. We had 4 kids, people were coming after him to sue him. I just couldn’t take it or put my kids through one more thing. So I made him leave and filed for divorce. Once he realized what was going on, his behaviors got even crazier. I filed for a protection order only for it to get denied. We had a court date set for me to fight it. The night before the court date he found me out a gun to my head and shot me at point blank range. God spared my life. I am so grateful, what would have happened to my children 😟? It has at this time been 3 years. I am still recovering. But putting that time between us, I realized how much he was mentally destroying me. He was gaslighting me, he made me feel crazy. He wasn’t nice and I thought something was wrong with me. He somehow had me thinking I had mental issues. I needed help. I get very angry about this! I can’t believe I ever let anyone have that kind of control over me. I have since realized all those things he was saying to me was only him projecting his issues on to me. I wasn’t the one on drugs. He was. He was the emotionally messed up one. Needing drugs to cope with his issues from his childhood. I get so mad and want to go back in time and tell myself to WAKE UP!! I use this strap to try to help me remember when I start going through the anger and regret to release my past. I want to never think about this stuff again. Or at least not as much. I use these straps to give me the power to help me through those moments. My are my power bands lol.