stories
life is precious
November 5, 2019I value the importance of a positive quote and when I came across a ZOX ad on Facebook. I clicked on it and knew I had to have one, well I planned on one, until I saw the quotes and lots of them resonated. Life is precious, Resilience, True Colours, Love is Alive, You are Enough, are what resonated strongly for me. The reason being May 2017, my dad became ill very quickly. The Drs mentioned an enlarged spleen etc, blood tests, bone marrow tests, hospital stays, and his memory began to fail, all in the space of what seemed like forever. We had a cancer diagnosis at the beginning of July. I cried and dads words to me were “come on Walshy, if anyone in this family is strong enough to help us all through this it’s you”, and I believed him. By this time dad was very ill and weak, he couldn’t have a strong chemo as he wasn’t well enough physically or mentally (until May he was strong, fit and very mentally aware). He agreed to try chemo...for “us girls”...my mum, my sister and I....and the “kids”...my two children. He had one lot, the next lot was for three weeks later. A few days before he was to have the second lot he told me he “couldn’t keep doing this anymore”. I told him he had to do what he had to do...I was giving my dad peace of mind that he could go if he wanted to. He turned up at the hospital, they couldn’t do the chemo, his liver was failing, palliative care, time, etc. We brought him home straight away, he couldn’t even get out of the car and was carried up to bed. Four hours later the sepsis set in...they gave him a 3% chance overnight and we had to decide if he would be resuscitated...no, I knew dad couldn’t go on any longer, he had basically told me. My heart screamed yes do all you can, my head knew the answer had to be no. My sister and mum struggled but knew it was the right decision. He hung on for 5 days, letting us spend last precious moments of his life with him, being as stubborn as always and not going when they said he would. Then we were all with him as he took his last breath, and despite being unconscious for the last couple of days he opened his eyes and looked into ours and he was gone. So Life is Precious.... I knew it would be tough but it hurt like hell, I thought at some point life would start getting a bit more normal. Three months to the day dad had died, October 26th 2017, my partner went to the dentist, there was a lump, we had to go to hospital, tests...results...tumor in the tongue....CANCER....Again!!! Couldn’t remove it without removing the tongue and voice box! I had my dads words running through my head “if anyone is strong enough”. We were on another journey....it was pointless crumbling, I had to stay strong to help us to continue to grieve for dad and now deal with more treatment. RESILIENCE....stay positive and get through this. All of this has been happening as I have been struggling to live with fibromyalgia, I was on the sick from work, in pain....but I see fibromyalgia as a blessing as it let me look after and spend the last few months with my dad and look after my mum and now be here for Ieuan. I have changed for all of this in a more positive way...I am passionate about positivity and being myself and living life and showing my TRUE COLOURS. Throughout this journey I have felt all sorts of emotions, I have had all sorts of support from so many people, it has been amazing. I have had a message from my dad from beyond the grave (if you believe in that sort of thing, I do and I did have a message). It affirms that love is strong and LOVE IS ALIVE. So where we are at at the moment is that Ieuan has finished treatment, he has been very ill and had every side effect. He even had sepsis....after being with dad I knew what was going on and got him the critical help that was needed straight away. We have a scan soon, we will soon find out if the cancer has gone. I’m still here. I am very aware that, LIFE IS PRECIOUS, RESILIENCE gets you through, life is too short not to be open and show your TRUE COLOURS, I have had so much support and people are amazing...LOVE IS ALIVE and I feel more of an acceptance with everything and even myself. My dads words about me being strong have helped me through this last year, as a family we are stronger than ever, if not more so. Sorry for the long story, but this is why I loved the quotes and the ZOX mission to help people in a positive way. So thank you 🙏🏻 Keep doing what you’re doing. Your messages are a positive reminder to many I’m sure.