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My Story Isn't Finished

my story isn't finished

May 29, 2021
I am 38 years old. I've endured a lifetime of abuse, and so I've struggled with a lifetime of PTSD and depression. I was 22 when I first tried to end my life. I survived. I tried again, a month later. Then I finally found the help I so desperately needed. But all the therapy in the world couldn't stop the suicidal thoughts that continued to torment me relentlessly. I was sick and tired of trying to survive each day of the same old demons, flashbacks and nightmares of horrific abuse. Healing hurts. Even as I processed the traumas in therapy sessions, I knew I was making progress and yet still felt so hopeless and exhausted and desperate to find relief from my pain. I nearly attempted suicide again two years ago... and then again last summer when I ended up inpatient at the psych hospital. My partner bought me this Zox strap as a little reminder to keep fighting, keep breathing, keep writing new chapters of my story. I absolutely love to write; I write to remember where I've been and how far I've come. Everyday, my Zox strap is my mantra for reminding me I still have so many new stories and adventures and life ahead of me. Life is worth living and I am so tremendously grateful I am still here; because my story is indeed not finished yet.